You’re human, and it’s not unnatural to have a crush on someone, even on a colleague who shares office space with you and sits right beside you at work. Having a crush on someone might be natural, but if it happens in the work place, it can be really tricky because it has the potential of getting messy, and at the same time, a lot of organisations frown at office romances.
Whether you mean it or not, it happens. And it’s important to deal with it properly to ensure it does not interfere with work. Here are a few tips to help you manage when you have a crush on a coworker:
Remember you’re in control
Your feelings do not control you. You are in charge. If it feels like your emotions are taking over, that means that you’ve allowed intense feelings to build up for too long, like steam in a tea kettle. The good news? Once you release those emotions safely, they won’t rule you anymore. Control the way you think and feel and channel your emotions in a more positive and yielding activity.
You have to stay professional in the workplace. If you start behaving in an unprofessional way, then things can get very bad very quickly. By acting professional, however, you can keep things in perspective and make sure that you keep your job. This is especially important if you don’t want your crush to know about your feelings. Behave as cool, calm, and composed as possible. If required, imagine your crush is not present all. This would help you maintain things on a professional degree.
Do not be obvious
How do you act when you’re around your crush? You may find it impossible to be yourself or to keep your cool around you crush, and as soon as you see him/her, you start sweating or your knees become weak. Or you make dreamy eye contacts once he/she looks away. Be cautious of your actions,they can convey your feelings and this can be noticed by the other guys at work. Apart from holding your self-esteem, restraining may help you sustain your professionalism and rescue yourself from uninvited gossip.
If you are resolute not to involve in office romance so as not to jeopardize your job or for some other reasons, then establish rules to stay away from any crush you have. For example, you can settle on to just interact with your crush when there are other people present, as this can aid you to avert from crossing over your boundary. Many times, settling on boundaries can make it easy to get rid of stress and run off emotions.
Stay with reality
When you have a crush on someone, it’s not all uncommon to start fantasizing or even dreaming about them. It’s also not uncommon to start confusing those fantasies with reality, especially when you work with your crush – after all, you spend so much time together. It’s important to keep your feet firmly rooted in reality by keeping your fantasy life completely separate from your professional life.
While you will be fantasizing about getting together with someone you gave crush on, do not imagine that they will make your wishes come true by any chance. Developing your expectations can only trap you in a swamp of feelings that would not be reciprocated, and this can disturb the way you deal with the person on a daily basis including your performance at work.