You log on to Facebook, and what floods your timeline are pictures from the wedding of that secondary mate of yours. Still in shock and surprised at how almost all your mates are getting married at the same time, you get home to sleep over the thought, then a friend comes visiting. But then, your excitement about the visit is suddenly cut short when you realise it’s not just a visit, but an invitation to her wedding.
As you try not to think so much about how single you are when everyone is getting married, your aunt gives you a call about your cousin’s wedding and asks when the wedding bells would be ringing at your end.
If you can relate to the scenarios, then you’re probably at the stage of life when it seems you’re the only one left to get married, that period when the noise about marriage seems to be louder in your ears. At this stage, worrying about your singlehood will do nothing but get you depressed.
Here are tips to help you cope when it feels you’re the only single person left:
Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others and being overly worried about not being married or in a relationship will only hold you back from a more important relationship: the one you have with yourself. Redirect your brainpower to work on something other than how fast or how slow you are meeting someone awesome, and you’ll likely find yourself worrying a little less about it in general.
Find single friends
You don’t have to ditch all your old friends just because they’ve gotten married and you’re not there yet; but you and your old crew are at different places in your lives right now. Chances are, they have other married friends to turn to for advice, or when they want to do ‘couples’ things. You, in turn, should have other single friends that you can go out with, relate to and share experiences.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself
If you feel sorry for yourself, others are definitely going to feel sorry for you too. I’m sure no one wants that. Being single is nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not a terrible life. It’s certainly a lot better than being with someone you don’t feel any sparks with, just for the sake of being married.
Learn to say no
Don’t feel obligated to attend every wedding invitation. No doubt as your friends are pairing up there will be bridal showers, weddings, dinner parties and an endless parade of events in which most of your closest friends will be there with other half in tow. When you’re part of the last persons standing in your family and social circle, you are going to be invited to a lot of places where you are the single one out. Realize that you don’t have to attend every event. Don’t put pressure on yourself—be selective about what you attend.