She always wants some money to spend on something, all the time. He makes big bucks alright, but he’s now complaining. She shops at The Palms in Lekki every few days. He just can’t splurge on that iPad he’s always wanted – because they can’t both be spendthrifts. And now, they’re fighting.
Sound familiar? Unfortunately, money is a common cause of relationship and marriage troubles. But if you find yourself constantly fighting, it’s time to do something about it, before the disagreement goes too far.
The good news is, love and money can get along! The first step to making it work is understanding what’s really behind your financial feuds.
Have an understanding
Share your financial dream and why it’s important that you keep something aside for the rainy day. Are you planning for a new house in Banana Islands or even Agbara? A vacation in Obudu Cattle Ranch? To start a business ? Spark conversations by asking: “If you had N5,000,000, what would you do? No judgment.”
By learning about each other’s dreams, you’ll better understand your day-to-day financial decisions. Note that being sneaky about money doesn’t help your relationship. And it’s a downward spiral—once unhealthy money habits become part of your routine, they’re difficult to change. So be honest with your partner about money.
Meet somewhere in the Middle
When it comes to money, some partners don’t see eye-to-eye on anything: she splurges on her wardrobe, while he hasn’t bought new jeans since 2003. And now, she must also have the new iPhone 7.
With so many different priorities, it’s important to pick your battles. Give up the small fights, and you might actually get a little more leeway in the areas that really matter to you. This way, you can avoid many of those money fights and focus the financial conversation on the big purchases and how they relate to your budget.
Swap and share bills
Want to really understand where your partner is coming from—or vice versa? If you always pay the bills or track the budget, let her/him take over paying the bills for a month. There’s no better way to learn about managing finances than by getting right in there.
In the event that bargaining between yourselves feels too charged, find neutral ground. The more you share your day-to-day financial management, the more connected you’ll be and the fewer surprises you’ll face.
If you keep communicating and compromising where need be, you and your sweetheart will be well on the right track to financial bliss.
Did you find these tips helpful? We’d love to know in the comments!
